Step Two…The Hope

In Step Two we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Notice that it doesn’t say anyone or anything, it just says a power greater
than us. Well for the ego maniac addict that I was how could anyone other than me
have any power, so I thought? Then comes the magic. Some people say, “Fake
it till you make it.” I was told that the room could be my power greater
than myself. What I heard was God’s voice. It came in a dream for me. I knew
where my power greater than myself was coming from, there were no questions for
me. However, I know for some newcomers this idea of a higher power goes against
all their views. I say to them, “Give it a shot, fake it till you make it,
put your trust out there blindly just this once and I promise you you’ll
start to see a change in how you view things.” Even if you just pick the room to
be your higher power. We all start somewhere – that’s where the hope comes
from, from inside reaching out, let it shine.

17 thoughts on “Step Two…The Hope

  1. Funny, for me, finally in my life I DO have a higher power, but my problem comes in letting Him “…restore me to sanity”. I am an addict, I am used to my insanity, dare I say I wear my insanity like an old comfortable sweater. But this is South Florida so probably time to find a fresh linen shirt. I have not been working on Step 2 the way I did Step 1. For me, I know I am not connected with my higher power. I don’t turn to Him first, I still try and fix it myself or call someone instead of letting go. Feel like I am rambling tonight but it is good to post again it has been too long. Ally

    • I’m still working on my 1st step, but “hope” is what fuels me. Its been rough lately. When I go to a meeting, and I hear “The Promises”, I get a shot of hope. When I hear the brothers and sisters share their successes and change, I get a shot of hope. I need that really badly right now. And “faking it until I make it” is exactly what I need to do most days. I feel like acting out, just to numb the loneliness and pain, but I’m going to continue “faking it” until I get past this. One day at a time. One hour at a time. If I can just keep stringing together the hours into days, and son on, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to feel and actually experience some of those promises.

  2. I am new to the program, and going to a meeting every day except Sunday. I feel a great burden has been lifted now that I have admitted I am a sex addict and shared this with my wife (who after the initial shock and anger has been very supportive of my commitment to get help), began treatment with a therapist, and participated in the rooms. These actions seem to fit with the first step. Step 2 presents a challenge for me. The comment above that the rooms can be your higher power strikes a chord with me. I do believe that the addiction is stronger than I am has managed my life in ways that I am only just beginning to discover. I am humbled and motivated to give myself over to do whatever it takes to be open and honest to myself and others in order to realize a quality of life that I haven’t been able to attain because of my addiction. I do not believe in the existence of God. I do believe in what I refer to as the human spirit; an inner strength that we tap into when we are faced with enormous hardships, traumas or challenges. Some say this is the spirit of God living within us all. We all know of people who have overcome tremendous pain and suffering to become healthy individuals. Everyone in the rooms is going through this process. I also believe that the gift of the rooms is the collective spirit of the group sharing and supporting each other unconditionally and has tremendous power that is much greater than the sum of the parts. In any case, this is the “Higher Power” to which I give myself unconditionally.

  3. Wow – A post on which I have not yet shared. I have already worked step 2 so I understand what this step is all about. It *is* about hope: hope that things can get better if you want them to and if you are willing to try something different. It is where recovery can really start to make a difference. But for me, it is much more than that. This program has given me much more hope than that. Yes, I received he hope that I can be in recovery, and that is where I am. But the gift that I have received from this program is the hope that I can have a better and completely different life. Here I am about to be 46 and when it comes to my life I feel like there is so much ahead of me. I feel like I can do anything that I want to, anything that I set myself out to do, nothing is beyond my reach, no one can stop me or push me down, I am worth all the hard work that I put into myself and into my program. And I have hope that all of the hard work that I put into myself and my program will have a payoff for me one day at a time with continued sobriety and continued blessings from my Higher Power. Because I know that as long as I do what I need to do on a daily basis, He has not let me down yet. Before recovery I had despair. Today I have hope. What a blessing.

    • I like this. I need to hear this and be reminded of this daily. The hope part. Yes..I’ve got a long, long way to go and a lot of hard work ahead of me, but there is hope. Hope for a better future. And I love what the post said – there is so much ahead of me. You know – I need to believe that “there is so much ahead of ME”. I mean – that’s hard to believe for me. I feel like I’m on an endless treadmill a lot of times. I can’t get off and there’s no end in sight. But when I’m in the rooms…I’m with my brothers…I feel hope. I can see an end because I hear the promises and see the changes that others voice. And so I think – that could be you. If you keep working the steps and stay honest – and stay humble – and stay hungry. Hungry for change and growth. Yes…the gift is all the things the promises that we read every meeting mention. I think I need to read them every night because that’s what I’m aiming for. Hope and a future. A real future. A future I can be proud of. No more shame – no more regrets – no more disgrace. I can’t wait. For today – just for today – I’m going to believe that. And when I get up in the morning – I want to be focusing on hope – not regret. May my higher power, and the fellowship, keep me moving in that direction. Hope – that’s what I need.

  4. Step 2 / Higher Power – This is such an evolving and individualized step that it is difficult to articulate what my higher power is, what it means to me, and what my developing ‘relationship’ is with it. However, I can feel and see my higher power working. It is there when I work (and don’t act out at work). I feel especially close to my h.p. when I am fortunate to get into a creative ‘zone’, where conscious thought and logic slip away into a subconscious, instinctive mode. Time passes quickly and my talents come to the forefront, leaving me with tangible results that I can be proud of. It is apparent in my relationships; I am fully present with my girlfriend with whom I feel more intimate as our relationship grows. Not having the ‘elephant in the room’ of Acting Out keeps us close and helps us grow together as a couple. It is there in my relationship with my daughter, the most important and inspiring person in my life. Without the mutual love we have for each other, I am not sure where I would be in this process, but I am sure it would not be where I am today. My strength and wisdom I can provide as a father feel like the most important aspect of being in touch with my h.p. It is also apparent in my improved relationships with my immediately family. While things can be complicated and sometimes less than perfect, I do feel closer and more connected with my family as a result of working on my recovery. This is another key result of my h.p. in action. My h.p. also keeps me from revisiting my old habits, ones that led me to dark places and darker feelings. Every time I drive past an old temptation or avoid a slip, I can thank my h.p. for keeping me from a reunion with insanity. I struggle with spirituality, religion, faith, and all these things. But I do feel something positive and powerful inside me that keeps me walking forward toward a better me, a better life, and a stronger connection with my potential. All of these things tell me my h.p. is growing as is my connection to it. Thanks.

  5. Long ago a man told me that Faith without Work was nothing more than Hope. Hope, while a good feeling, all by itself will accomplish nothing. The first step at depth tells us that we are hopeless. The second step gives us that Hope back that we can return to sanity. It is not until that 3rd step that we really begin the journey. While Hope is a wonderful feeling, it is only the motivating factor that pushes us on our journey to recovery and hence the work that turns that Hope into Faith and recovery.

  6. Thank you Lord for my latest slip. I say this because I have come to the realization that I need drastic help in my recovery. I am about to do the most drastic things to bring me to recovery that I ever have. I am moving out, to a place of sobriety and committing myself to a cleansing detoxifying environment away from my poison which is erotic websites with the theme that always does me in. I saw Glenn Beck’s “The Christmas Sweater” last night and this recovering alcoholic told MY story as he told his. I saw redemption in this story and it gave me hope for myself. My wife, is an angel and has given this gift to me as a last chance. It is more than I deserve and it is my intention to not let her down. I will strive to be gentle on myself and ask God to make His will, mine. My sponsor is my gift from God and for this I thank Him.

  7. Just a quick post to stick with my commitment as I get ready for bed tonight. This is a good topic as I approach the end of this year and look towards the new year. I will probably post on it again in more detail. But I see the new year with a lot of hope in my head and in my heart. I see myself working my program and if I do, continued good things coming my way. And I see my Higher Power continuing to take care of me. I have hope today and 4 years ago I had no hope. This is one of the gifts of this program. Thank you!

  8. After a year and a half of floundering and failing in the program, I finally admitted I was powerless against my addiction. I realize I truly need help to end the chaos I have created in my life. So now I open myself up to that help, and hope that by accepting that help, I can return my life to sanity.

    Currently, my higher power is my sponsor and the other people in this program. By opening myself up to the help offered in the program, and listening to the very simple and gentle advice given to strengthen me in my journey to recovery, I now have hope that I can recover and not fail again.

    What has been amazing for me is that my recovery does not necessarily force me to beat myself up over my addiction to sex. Rather it focuses on how I live my life every day, and it gives me softer gentler paths to follow than I may normally have chosen on my own. These new paths to life create less stress in my world, and thus I find myself less and less likely to be put in situations where I feel the need to self medicate and alleviate my pain through acting out.

    Very simple, yet utterly incomprehensible to an addict who only understands one way to feel good, I now have options, hope, and a higher power than myself.

  9. I don’t have much of a definition of my H.P., but I do know there is one! When I had my discovery of sex addiction about 6 months ago, I had no hope. I had no hope either before my discovery – just going through the motions of trying to be medicated enough to bear my life. Depression and self hatred were my constant companions.

    Something happened with the discovery – the pain and suffering for my partner and me woke up the reality of my unreality. I’d been living in denial and unconsciousness for a long time. Something happened to connect, through all the pain, with a H.P., that gave me the hope to carry on, to believe that a better life was possible.

    Now, 6 months later, although there is still pain and suffering, it is on a different level – like the pain of recovering from a broken leg – a good pain of healing. I know that this incredible rescue wasn’t from ME. It was from a Higher Power, who then put me in touch with the community of people that would help me deal with this terrible disease.

    Every day, I am thankful to my H.P., and the people He/She has put me in touch with that are helping me heal – my sponsor, my therapists, my trusted witnesses.

  10. Hope is something that this program has given me. Before coming into this program and into recovery in general I had no hope I thought I was the way I was and that was just it. I was not happy, I was just existing my way through life. I was acting out and using drugs. I thought I was broken and did not understand how to be fixed or that I could be fixed. Today I am a different person. I have hope for the future. I am 46 years old and came into recovery at 42. Yet I feel like my life is just beginning. I feel like I have so much ahead of me. I feel like as long as I do what I need to do on a daily basis, my Higher Power will take care of me because He has so far. This feeling of hope is amazing and it is what makes me like change now instead of hating it. I used to want to stagnate and not have anything change. Today change for me is good, it means I am alive and hopeful. This is all of course within reason. Out of control change is not good and a whole other topic. But suffice it to say that I am hopeful today for a life that is already better and getting better allowing the promises to come true as long as I continue to work my program one day at a time.

  11. I’m starting on my second step. Over the past year, I’ve shared about my thoughts and recently, I’ve really done a lot of reading about it in the AA big book and SAA green book along with a few others.

    I have no struggle with a belief in God. I also recognize my insanity for what it is. My first step work made that easy.

    So much discussion is about those who have trouble believing in a personal God of some type. I understand that and appreciate the challenge that it must entail. I offer my prayers and support for all who face that.

    How, though, does one who believes in God already work this step? How do I make it meaningful and powerful for me? It would seem easy to check the box and move on to step three, check that box too and begin step four. But I don’t want to short-change myself. I feel like there’s an opportunity here to deepen my understanding of the nature of God in my life and the faith that I have in God’s power.

    Ultimately, that’s what’s hard for me. To intellectualize my belief is one thing. To live my faith as a true way of life is daunting. I have the courage to live it as never before, but that isn’t yet enough.

  12. Early in the program, I came to believe that a SPIRITUAL POWER could help me. I went through what I believe was considerable lengths to access this POWER. In my journey, I achieved periods of sobriety, peace, and joy. I have also experienced depression, anxiety, frustration, and relapse. Today, I feel like I’ve lost touch with Step 2. I have placed my reliance on meetings, my step work, phone calls, and my Will. The consequences are fatigue. It is called white knuckling. I can’t forget step 2 and need to go back to it. Today I believe in this POWER and I could see His manifestation throughout my Day. But my Friend can’t help me if I don’t let go….

  13. Last night I completed my 1st step and I asked my sponsor to get me started right away on step 2. When I came home form my meeting I printed what he had sent and began to organize to begin step 2. Reading through the material I understand what is required for this step. I feel very fortunate that I had a spiritual awakening about 3 weeks ago. I believed that God was not real that he did not exist in my addiction there could be no god. But 3 weeks ago I discovered he has always been there right beside me. I was the one who closed him out shut him out of my heart. Now today my heart is open to receive his love. I feel it every day. I have learned to,pray again. I speak to my father many times a day. I ask for strength in my recovery I ask for love and he provides all. Every time I pray and ask for help he is there. I feel him he is taking care of me keeping me on my path to recovery and taking care of all the things I cannot control. Thank you father for your love strength and guidance.

  14. I believe that their is a higher power, greater than me. I believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. That being stated, I just wish that there was a way of cleaning the slate in a more rapid manor. Therein lies the problem for me. As I have stated before, my problem is that I want to have it now. What I am learning, from the group, from my sponsor, is that all will come within time. You have to allow time to do everything at its own speed.

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