Step Six: The Willingness

In the Sixth Step we pledged that we are entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character. What it doesn’t say is that we were ready to give up our defects of character. I know I wanted to hold on as tight as possible to those defects. I was comfortable with my surroundings. If God was to remove my defects, what was I suppose to use in their place? How was my world going to exist without them? This step took a willingness that I had to ask God for the courage to have. Once again I was going to be in unchartered waters. I wanted to go through the step but I knew it was going to be a challenge. I was going to be giving up attributes and traits that molded me for most of my adult life. Some even kept me alive, even though they were undesirable. I had to find the faith that ran deep in my soul and pray often for the change to occur. As I let go of one trait at a time, God managed to give me exactly what I needed in return. Once again showing me that my Higher Power knew better than I did. Today, I still have defects but with God’s help, I manage to be a better man. Thank you Papa.

13 thoughts on “Step Six: The Willingness

  1. To know that something better is out there, to see that others are living it and not have the willingness…. that is the baffling part of this disease. Right now in this crazy limbo-land in full blown addiction not in recovery but taking calls if not making them. Showing up at the meetings completely numb barely hearing what is said…. this, this is a living hell…

  2. I have not worked step 6, but I can certainly talk about Willingness. Willingness is something that I struggle with. Outwardly I say I want this and I can do this and I show the world that I am doing things in the program that are moving me in the right direction. However, inwardly something seems to hold me back from 100% completely turning myself over and surrendering to this program. That lack of willingness kept from doing service work until I was late in my 2nd year of recovery, it kept me procrastinating on my step work, and it keeps me from doing what I need to do to take care of myself physically and financially. I need to pull myself in the right direction. I want willingness. I pray for willingness. I am willing to be willing.

  3. Willingness…. I am so willful I wonder if the WILLINGNESS will ever come to me. But if I don’t pray for it or ask for it, it surely will NEVER come. Today I was willing to turn off my texting feature on my phone all together… I blocked it I can not recieve or send. I changed my phone number try explaining that to people that don’t know you are acting out. “Why did you change your number?” I have not been on any instant messengers in at least 3 months.

    I still have some inner circle behaviour I MUST address. I still have HUGE interenet issues and personal ads issues and people issues but somehow, somewhere in the swamp pain infested stench that is my addiction I am finding some kind of willingness. Even if it is the smallest threads I am trying move forwar. One second at a time, this just happens to be a half way decent second.

  4. Willingness….. Ready, Willing, Able….

    That described me in my addiction. Always ready to act out, willing to take any chance, and able to lie, cheat, and do whatever it took to get away with it.

    Ready, willing, and able now has a new meaning for me. I am “ready to take certain steps”, because I am “willing to go to any length to get what I want #my sobriety#, and I am able to let God remove my defects of charter.

    Until I finished my 4th step I was not sure what those defects were, so the thought of God removing something of which I was not sure was a little scary. Like many I felt that there would be huge gaps in me that would need to be filled with…. What? Would my program provide me with everything that I needed to fill in the holes that my program just created? I have learned that I have to give up my willfulness to control my life and accept the willingness that I can only control how I respond to life. My defects of charter were the parts of me that told me I controlled what other people did by power and manipulation, my defects of charter told me I controlled what other people thought through lies and tricks. My willingness to have these defects of charter removed have given me the power to know that the only real control I have is in trusting my Higher Power and my program and the fellowship that gives me the power to be willing to live this program one day at a time

  5. Step 6 – Willingness – Interesting when I look back at my last post. I was not on Step 6 when I posted it and now I am close to completing Step 6. Also, when I wrote that last post I was coming off of a weekend where I had a slip on a trip to Chicago and I was at the tail end of 2 1/2 years of not taking care of myself. I was tired of how I felt and how I looked. That weekend was a turning point for me. I came back and I was ready to change. Since that weekend willingness has come into my program in abundance. I pray every morning for willingness to continue with my program and with my success. I pray for one more day of sobriety. And as a result I have been blessed with fitness, weightloss, sobriety, and other things that I would never have imagined. I am out of work, don’t have many friends right now, and am 45 years old. Alot of people would be depressed. I am excited. I feel like I have so much ahead of me to look forward to. But even more, I have today. I enjoy each day. Even the time I spend by myself I enjoy because it is quality time doing quality things and getting things done. I love my life today and that is because I have surrendered to this program and to my Higher Power and have the willingness to do what is suggested of me. For example – I am posting on this particular subject as suggested by my sponsor :). But I have learned that when I follow suggestions I usually end up in a better place and to be in a better place, I will continue to be willing to do what I need to do.

  6. I have to ask myself what I am willing to do for my recovery. What am I willing to give, what am I willing to endure? I know what I was willing to do for my addiction. I have to live each day asking myself, “What am I willing to do for my recovery?”

    My defects of character go very deep into who I was, who I thought I was and who I wanted others to think I was. I was willing to play the fool when it suit my purposes, to give others a view of me that cost me respect in the eyes of many, but it allowed me to act out. I had to wear the scorn of others because of my acting out and my defects of character allowed me to say I didn’t give a damn because my addict was getting what it wanted. I was willing to do anything, to be anybody, just to please my addict and my need to act out. My addict did not care who got hurt as long as it felt better, at any cost.

    Now, my recovery has given me the courage to fact the daily challenges my addiction has caused. My courage allows me to face the “I have a question….” my wife sometimes challenges me with about my past acting out. My courage takes the place of the cowardice, a defect of character that my addict took advantage of. Now, my recovery has given me the faith to trust my program and the promises it offers. My faith takes the place of the despair, a defect of character that my addict took advantage of to trick me into believing the acting out would make me feel better.

    My defects of character are being eroded away because I am willing to work on and trust this program, my fellowship, and my higher power. Willingness is the key to doing anything worthwhile.

  7. For ever so many years, faith was not my strong point, since I had none. My character defects were my strong point. I had all the character defects in spades – lying, sex addiction, gambling, food addiction and drinking way too much. I had so many character defects; it was like a smorgasbord of bad habits! Which table should I go to today!? My character defects were my reasons to live, to cover up the pain and depression underneath.

    Within the last few years, the realization of something bigger, an infinite intelligence overseeing what I saw as my clever, cynical reality, changing the meaning of what happened in the world every day. That seed grew into certainty, and finally, as happens with all of us, that higher power showed me the consequences of my character defects. What a powerful realization. They were no longer fun; no longer had an answer, but an immense problem, that constantly hurt myself and others.

    Now I believe there exists a higher intelligence, consciousness, that is in the business of teaching us all what we need to know, pleasant or not.

    It has become clear to me that I MUST turn over the steering wheel of my life to that power, because, God knows, I can’t do it myself. Not without pain, suffering and death. Without that faith, there is no hope.

  8. Willingness – Interesting for me right now. I actually see the next topic which I should be posting on tomorrow night and it should be what I posted on last night. But if I am going in order this is what is on the list for tonight. Do I have willingness right now? I have the willingness to want to be in recovery. Yes. Am I doing all the things that I need to do on a daily basis. No. I need to continue to push myself to my basics. I had not been blogging and I am trying to do it again, that is a good example. The thing is, I want to be sober and I want what this life has given me and what it will continue to give me. So I use that as my means to help me stay sober. I thank my Higher Power for everything that I have today and for who I am today. But I also know that I can take my will back faster than anyone I know and that is when I get in trouble. So even almost 5 years into the program I still need to practice willingness like a newcomer. Because I am a newcomer in a lot of ways. I have changed a lot and grown a lot but I still struggle and pick up white chips and for that I need to continue to be willing to turn things over. The thing is, when I do and when I act willing, I am happy, I am at peace, I am calm, I am all the things that I want to be and like to be. So why don’t I just do that all the time. Journey. Still working on it.

  9. FITTING!!! As I now approach STEP 6 work, it’s seems like with all my defects, I may be stuck at this step for the rest of my life. The truth is, I don’t have too because I am reminded through a passage of scripture in Philippians 2:13 “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure”, therefore He can remove those defects as He continues to work in my life…… and whats so amazing is that my recovery program reiterates that truth.

    As it states in Step 6 “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”.. The key for me is, as I go into it I have been given the gift of being ready…. I must confess that I have not done a good job preparing my character for what life with an addiction threw at me. But having gone through the first 5 Steps, meeting with a sponsor, going regularly to meetings, getting honest about my issues and becoming vulnerable to the SAA program and fellowship, I am more ready now than I’ll ever be. Thanks for this post, I needed to reflect on it.

  10. I am not quite at STEP 6 , But still dabbling in step 0. That is to attend meetings, meetings and more meetings.

    I am in pain and have caused a lot of pain to other people , especially my wife.

    Willingness to me at my current state, is to be teachable. To be open to reach out to people to seek and get advise and follow simple directions without questioning. Because I know where my best thinking and feelings have got me.

    The question is do I have the willingness to turn my will over to the care of GOD as I understand him and seek help from members who have done this before.

    For today I pray for willingness to have this.

    Thank you GOD and Thank you SAA and everyone who is trying to help me.

    I know i am not ALONE

  11. Step 6…This is a confusing step. I don’t think I am ever truly done with this step. It seems that the willfullness that helped me push through to get to step 6 is of NO USE. No amount of reading, work, meetings, phone calls, and/or positive thinking will help me become entirely ready. For me this step is about SURRENDER. SURRENDER is an inside job that takes place in my gut. I experienced it in Step 1. Turning it over, really letting go. As I write, I begin to think of Step 3. Have I truly surrendered, Have I dropped the Rock.. It doesn’t feel like it these days. I’ll keep coming back. Putting one foot in front of the other. Acting as if…..

  12. Willingness. I am still working step 4 yet I realize that willingness has brought me to where I am today and that is a good place. I am in recovery because I was willing to give up my addiction and find a better life. I was willing to let go of everything I knew about everything and willing to begin to learn everything new. My willingness to change to learn to experience to explore myself has all brought me to where I am today and today is a beautiful day. Thank you father for all your love

  13. A Willingingness

    My sponsor is helping me with the character defects as we speak. I know I have them and I am giving them up to Jesus and he will take them from me. I know I will still have them the rest of my life but by presenting them to God I have made the proper step.
    This at first was difficult because I had them all my life and in some cases they help me survive many times. But I have grown in my recovery and I feel OK letting them go and I will be OK. Especially with God’s help he will take them from me.
    I feel a clam over me and feel that I can do this one day at a time

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