Letting go of People, Places and Things

Wow, I remember how hard it seemed to me have to let go of all these ideas; People,
Places and Things. What was I going to do with myself, with all this new found
time, and this new energy? I objected at first…I thought that I could find an
easier softer way of dealing with all these new parameters. The truth was, I
could not. My sponsor was very specific when he read me the riot act, no more
seeing this person, no more going to those places and no more using that thing.
I thought my whole world was crashing in on me. Truth be told, in spite of my
feelings and because my sponsor was a no nonsense person, I caved in pretty
quickly. I saw how important it was to let go and move on. I heard my sponsor’s
wisdom. I chose to use his experience over my own devices. After all, my way
wasn’t working and hadn’t worked for me as long as I can remember. This proved
to be a very important part of my recovery. I had finally realized that if I wanted
to live, there was another way of living. I became committed and let nothing
stand in my way of doing the next right thing. And for all my hard work, God
has seen fit to let me live another day, just one day at a time.

32 thoughts on “Letting go of People, Places and Things

  1. Letting go is not easy. In early recovery I did not want to let go. If left to my own devices, I would have been back in Philadelphia acting out. As it was, the first thing I did when I was sent to the airport was call my acting out partner. When it was time for me to leave treatment and make a decision to either go home or stay in Florida, all I knew was that I knew nothing anymore. I knew that my best thinking got me here and that I had to take the suggestions of people that knew better than me and I had to let go of the people, places and things that got me where I was. It was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make in my life. I left a job that was the pinnacle of my career, I left a brand new house and I left everyone that I had spent the last 15 years of my life with. But I knew that if I wanted recovery, I had to leave these people, places and things behind, so I did, and I have never regretted that decision. Today my life is getting better each day and it is not controlled by the people, places and things that controlled it prior to coming into recovery. Today my life is MY LIFE! And thanks to my sponsor and my higher power, my life is full of feeling and recovery.

    • Two weeks ago, I informed my therapist of the challenging weekend I had experienced. After attending a meeting that was located on a street that was triggering, I had my Addict obsessing and suggesting that I go cruising. Thank god I made a U turn and did no cruising.

      My therapist suggested that I find another meeting. I rejected the idea, because I have been going to this meeting for the past 2.5 years, I feel very comfortable and know all the people there. He said “This is people, places, and things, it might not be a bad idea to meet new people.” This past weekend, I did not take his suggesting and went to my meeting anyway. My Addict began obsessing again and I experienced another challenging weekend.

      Once again, I was faced with the reality that “My Way” doesn’t work. Once again, I have to surrender, turn it over, and take the suggestions of my guides.

  2. Letting go of people, places and things…. We know, we know our way is not working that is why most of us find our way to the rooms. I am in the very early days of letting go of old behaviors and have not yet had enough time put together of new behaviors. I CANNOT do this on my own I am TOTALLY relying on the strength and hope of the group, of my fellows. I know I want a new life but simply put I don’t want to let go of my old one to get to the new one. Two things can not be in one place, so my old way of doing things hurts and I am not in the comfort of new nurturing behaviors. Tonight is a good example of relying on my fellows I must have left 10 messages with people in program the 500lb phone was lighter but then there was no one to share my frustration and pain with. I did make it home safe and sound. I did receive a call a back. I only have today and today I did not use, I did not act out and I thought I had really wanted to, I must have wanted sobriety just a little bit more today

  3. I feel a new sense of freedom, something I have never felt before. By letting go and completely submitting, I feel unburdened. A fellow said it the other night after a meeting, “Ally, you look unburdened!” Once it was said out loud I was like yes that is exactly how I feel. I know that this letting go is a daily process, it is not something I will only do once. I will have to do it over and over, even with things I am not yet aware of that I will have to let go. I wish I could have let go sooner but I am also learning acceptance and things unfold how they must in order for me to get the lesson. Today I am having a grateful day in recovery. Not sure what tomorrow will bring but I am not in tomorrow yet.

  4. I have had to do a lot of letting go over the past few years. Sometimes I am good at it and sometimes it has been difficult for me. They say that you are always moving either away from your addiction or towards your addiction, depending on how you are working your program. Sitting here today I chose to let go of any people, places or things that are going to move me towards my addiction. I chose to write on this topic tonight for a reason. I almost forgot to blog. I was taking my dog for her final walk of the night and a thought popped in my head about acting out. It is a familiar thought that I have had related to the warm weather, a night that triggers me based on old acting out rituals. Interestingly enough I have not thought about that in a long time and interestingly enough this thought pops into my head on a night when I forget to blog. It was just a thought and by no means an impulse or compulsion. But it did come into my head and was enough to remind that I needed to blog. I guess that was my Higher Power’s way of saying – uuuhh Ted! Don’t get complacent. You made a commitment to blog every night and if you don’t stick with your commitments and work your program this is what will happen!!!!. Funny how that works. So, now I can go to bed with peace of mind. My dog is happily snoozing already and now I can pop in an I Love Lucy DVD and fall asleep and get ready for my day tomorrow. I feel great and I am grateful that I received that little reminder that allowed me to keep this commitment. Ciao Bello

  5. I know that I just wrote on this topic a few days ago, however, I feel that I need to write on it again tonight. I was talking to my mother today. My mother was telling me about my twin brother’s trip to Italy with his wife, her family and their friends. Not only is Italy my favorite place in the world, but these are people that were my entire world just 4 years ago and who today do not speak to me. It was difficult to listen to what my mother had to say because the first thoughts that entered my mind were about wanting to be with them and how much fun they must be having. Then I remembered who I was when I was with them and how I was treated when I was with them. I was not the same person. I was not who I am today. Today I am me. That simply four word sentence is huge for me. I could not say that before nor live that before. However, today I can say it and mean it. I can shout it. I know who I am and it does not matter what anyone thinks. Any I can stand up for who I am. Yes, it is hard to have lost that part of my life and those connections that I had for so many years. It is still sad to me and I have to work through that pain when it comes. However, it is overshadowed by the freedom that I have today of being myself and living that life that I have today, doing the things I am doing today and looking forward to what lies ahead as a result of this program that I have been and hope to continue to work. So, for today, I am letting go of those people, places and things of the past that I have no control over and looking ahead to new people, places and things that are soon to come.

  6. How many times have I wasted my time thinking? By that I mean, I shoulda, coulda , woulda, handled something different than I did. An encounter with an adversary as a child or even as an adult. Why didn’t I handle that differently? I remember a great saying I saw on a plain sheet of paper once. It said “The only power other people have over you is your reaction.” I have learned to think that what anyone thinks of me is none of my business. But as a sex addict that is of course not true. And what I find is that when anyone finds out I am a sex addict, it is a shame I bear and suddenly I do care what they think of me.
    I now try to handle encounters like I handle addiction, turn it over to God, one day at a time.

  7. I need to write on this topic AGAIN. I need to keep reminding myself to let go of people places and things. But that is ok. Because today I have this program and today I can work on letting go of these things from my past that are triggers and that bring me down. I don’t need those things in my life today. I have come too far to let my past triggers pull me back. I love my life today and I love who I am today. I enjoy every minute of every day and I don’t want to let anyone take that away from me. So I need to let go. I also need to pray for these people at whom I may be angry so that they may get the help that they need and so that I may get the serenity that I need. It works for me one moment at a time and that is what I need for today. Thank you program!

  8. Today I am working on Step 8 and preparing for Step 9. In so doing I am going through harms that I have done to people from my past. In some cases I know that it is not going to be a good idea to contact them. I know this because this is what is suggested to me. I listen and I understand. This is a gift of the program. I don’t always want to hear it at first, but after a while it does sink in and I surrender, accept and actually understand. The point is that I need to let go of some of these people from my past as they have moved on with their lives just like I have moved on with mine. Yes, it is sad, but at the same time, I have my own life to lead that is turning out to have possibilities better than I could have ever imagined thanks to this program. So for now I will proceed with my step work as suggested by my sponsor and I will do my best to let go of these people, places and things.

  9. I know that I shared on this same topic last night but I have something different to share on it tonight. I was working with a sponsee tonight and talking about when I created my first three circles. It seems like 100 years ago, but it was about 2 ½ years ago. I sat down with my sponsor and I proceeded to put down on a tiny piece of yellow paper the behaviors that I did not want to do anymore into my inner circle. Some of these behaviors just flew out of me and onto the paper. However, there was one behavior that I would not write down. When it came time to do it, I would not let go. We sat there and discussed it for a long time. I was scared. I was stuck in my addiction for years and years. My behaviors were my friends. I was terrified that I would not know what to do if I let go of them. After about 45 minutes I wrote the final item on the paper. It was very painful and I started to cry immediately. It was not tears of joy. It was tears of fear and sadness, of loss of what I had just put down and was about to lose. I was scared. I was not sure what was to come Everything that was comfortable to me was being taken away. Today, 2 ½ years later, all of those behaviors, plus more, are still in my inner circle and I have over 8 months free from the need to act on them. I look at my life today and I look at my life 4 years ago. I could not go a day, even half a day without acting on my impulses. Today I am free from that. Yes, I still have thoughts and I have to deal with them as they come. I call my sponsor and I use the tools of the program. And I pray that I never have to go back to what I was or how I was living. But to get where I am today I had to take the first step which was to let go of those things which were keeping me in my addiction. I pray that I continue to move in the right direction on this journey.

  10. Here I am in Philadelphia posting on this recovery blog for my sex addiction. The last time I was here I was in my sex addiction. So to be in recovery in Philadelphia is new for me. It is also very emotional for me. I have a lot of feelings going on right now that I am working through: feelings of sadness mostly. Sad for what, I am not quite sure. All I know is that I am emotionally spent at this point at the end of this trip and I cannot wait to get back home to South Florida. What I do know is that Philadelphia and New Jersey are no longer home to me. I did not realize that until this weekend. And a lot of the people here are no longer part of my life. So this trip has been a huge turning point for me. It has allowed me to let go of a lot of people, places and things and realize not only that my life is in Florida, but that I “want” my life to be in Florida. I like what I have there. I like who I am there. I like my lifestyle there. Everything about it works for me and I miss it right now. I feel like I don’t belong here anymore. This part of my life is over. Perhaps that is why I am so sad, I am grieving the loss of this part of my life. Just get me to the plane and I’m out of here tomorrow. I know that my Higher Power will take care of me until I get home as He always has and will continue to do so. For now, good night. And the next post will be from home!!!!

  11. Letting go of people, places, and things. I understand the places, and things. Those 2 ideas make sense to me. I certainly want to stay off the internet, no porn, out of certain areas that are hazardous to me, etc…. However, people has been much harder for me. I have 2 people in my life that I have colluded with for years , and years. One is a co-worker/ boss. He is older than me, and has taken me under his wing, and really brought me along professionally. He also has a sex addiction, which is probably one of the main reasons we gravitated to each other. The other person is a childhood friend / best friend, who is also a sex addict, and pretty much a bad person. I have had good success staying away from him. I have invited him several times to my house, when we had people over. This is a safe place, and prevents him from asking me questions about acting out, and him sharing stories on his acting out. Going back to the boss situation – I have recently been suggesting to him gently that I am not interested in that lifestyle anymore. He has been understanding, but also possibly patiently waiting to see if I will slip again and be ready to go act out….. Today I had a really good conversation with him about how I have really found inspiration in a higher power. I told him this wasn’t necessarily a religion thing, but more of a spiritual thing. It was amazing to see his reaction… he was almost scared – as if he knows that a higher power does exist, and that is what he is missing in his life. He also was respectful, yet not detailed. I am feeling better about my situation with “people” in regards to change. I know I will need to stay vigilant of these 2 characters, yet pray for this understanding….

  12. The things and places that I must let go of are obvious.

    Pornography: One of my most prized possessions. Thousands of dollars and many square feet of storage space. If there were a Porn Aficionado magazine, I would make the cover at least twice a year. I balked at throwing away my collection of porn when I first discovered my addiction. How could I live the rest of my life without something so dear to my damaged soul. The sweet soothing companion piece to my masturbatory habit. Certainly this was not a bad thing. Everybody looks at porn. I can control the urge. No…I can’t! Initial attempts at limiting my viewing worked for about 15 minutes. Then the addict kicked in. More, more, more he demanded, and he always gets what he wants. Soon, I was back in the throws of my addiction, and sinking to new lows of acting out. Porn is the start of the addiction process for me and leads me down that spiraling path into even darker acting out behavior. It has to go, and it did. I destroyed my precious collection and began a new life four days ago.

    Adult book stores: The treasure troves of my porn addiction. Rows and rows of nothing but porn to browse through and select for addition to my collection. Much like a wine lover looking for that perfect bottle to round out his collection. If I walk into one of these today, I might as well march myself into Hell. It is like falling into an open grave. In time the dirt will fall in and cover me, and I will never get out of this place that has caused me to lose my soul.

    Places that I go to act out. I must avoid these like the plague. Even if I do not locate a person to act out with, these areas fuel my addict. Just being in these places gives me a rush, and can cause me to return again and again in hopes of finding someone in order to act out. I always go back to continue my ritual until I do find that person. Even the image of those places in my head arouse me. I must rethink those places as dead ends to my recovery. They are roads to jail, self destruction, and ultimately death.

    For me, people is a different issue all together. All of my acting out is done alone. I have no relationship to those I act out with except for monetary exchange. No names, no conversations, and no emotions.

    My failures come from not letting the right people into my life. I am a loner. I can do everything by myself, or so I have always believed. That belief system led to my fall from sobriety. I sat in group and therapy and listened over and over to people say that they were there to help me. I smiled, shook my head, and as usual refused to let them in, choosing instead to go it on my own. I’m not weak, I told myself. They were weak for needing others. I told myself, they don’t know me and how strong I am. But they knew me, alright. They even knew me better than I know myself, because they had already experienced what I am going through now. And they also knew that if I truly wanted recovery I would eventually ask for it, and they would be there to give help. Well the day has come, I’m asking for help, and they are giving it freely. It’s time for me to let these people in.

  13. Letting go of places and things seem quite straight forward. I am now avoiding the bars, clubs and places that gave me the opportunities to act out. Somewhat obvious. As for things, porn and x-rated movies come to mind and also are obvious. I have a handle on those.

    But people? This is much more difficult. None of my previous friends were responsible for my acting out, at least directly. But if you dig deeper, there may be more to it – a sharing of the beliefs behind the addiction, the taking pleasure in the stories. These may have been a factor. I’m still new enough in the program to admit that this is a very difficult time for me. Friends of 10-20 years have been precious to me – only I had the responsibility of acting out. I hope that clarity in this area comes fairly soon. It certainly isn’t here yet.

    I’m very thankful for this forum, as a place to share ideas, hear others’ outlooks and challenges. At least I’m not alone in deciphering this complex series of decisions toward sobriety

  14. Tonight I need to let go of people, places and things. I have been in recovery for over 4 years. Mind you I have not always worked a good program and as a result I have struggled, acted out and experienced a lot of pain over these four years. However, I never picked up a drink or drug and I have worked a pretty solid program for in SAA for the past 2 ½ years. But today my brother who still will not talk to me is sending me e-mails that could very easily take me down, beat me down, cause me to feel less of myself, cause me to get worked up and emotional. Yes, they do upset me at first. But when I really think about it, they have no real affect on me because only I can have an affect on me. It does not matter to me what he thinks about me or what he thinks I need to do. I have put forth my best effort multiple times to reach out to him, to make my amends and he has not been interested. All he wants to do is live in the past and stay angry, lash out and get nasty. I care too much about myself to allow myself to continue to take that kind of abuse. So I have to exit myself from it. It feels good to have that power over myself. Mind you I don’t have that power over him. I have no power over anyone. But I do have power over how I handle myself and I can control moving away from a situation that is not good for me. The situation is the same as it has been for years. So I need to let go. I need to let go of the people, places and things that are not good for me, that abuse me that are not going to allow me to be healthy. My health: physical, emotional and spiritual, are too important to me and I will not allow someone to impact it right now. So I will continue to work my program, pray to my Higher Power for strength and guidance and to turn my will over and look forward to tomorrow.

  15. People, Places and Things.

    Things are pretty straight-forward for me: I know the things that I should avoid and let go of. It may not be easy, but at least I know what they are and how to stay away from them.

    People are trickier… they have feelings and personalities. They talk back. In my life there’s not really any one person I need to avoid, as most of my acting out was done alone or anonymously over the phone or internet, but there are still people that are triggers for me. There are people that make me think a certain way, or get me in a certain mind-set. There are a couple of people that I would probably be powerless over. My addiction had a number of “pseudo-relationships”, either online or over the phone. Honestly, I’m not really sure how to deal with this right now, so I’m just kind of putting that on hold. I’ve not been in contact with these people, but I still think about them, wonder what they are up to and sometimes they send me messages. I don’t know what to say to them right now, so I don’t say anything. Some of these people I’ve known for years and I do care about them. I guess I am in the process of letting them go. Getting rid of the porn was easier.

    Places is probably the hardest for me. I work from home so that’s been my main acting-out place… how can I avoid that? I know I can’t, physically, but I can create a new paradigm… and new way to look at my space here. A space for creativity and growth, a place for family, a place to learn and a place to do positive things for myself… the things I’ve always wanted to do. I just realized today that I have gone five weeks now without wasting all my free time on the internet. So much time re-claimed! I’ve done more in the past couple weeks than I probably did all last year! I’m getting my life back!

  16. Letting go of people places and things – this is something that I could NEVER do. I held on to things so tight and for so long that they could turn to coal. Today I don’t have to do that. I am not perfect. So, yes, I still hang on to a few things. But if in the past I held on to something for a year or even a few months, today I might hold on to something for a few hours or a day. That is how far I have come as a result of working this program and taking care of myself. I might get stuck in the muck for a bit, but then I have the program to remind me and help me get out of the muck and I move on. And then there is other kinds of letting go, like letting go of old behaviors, wanting to do things that I used to want to do. For example – 5 years ago to go out and drink and act out and then do drugs and then act out more was a great night for me. To hang out in a bar and isolate and wonder what is wrong with me and then end up at some seedy place where I have to place money in people’s pants to have them pay attention to me was a great night or so I thought. Today I can let go of all of that. I know that any part of that is nothing that I want anything to do with. Even today in my recovery I might end up with friends in a bar or club and I just have no interest at all. It bores me. And those environments used to completely trigger me and make me want to act out. But today as long as I work my program and do things safely I am ok and I can let go of my old behaviors and embrace new ones. I am not sure if all of this made sense but it is what is going on for me right now and it feels good to let go of these old things and know what is part of my past that I want nothing to do with anymore.

  17. I am totally convinced that without the understanding of symptoms of recovery—I will relapse. Last night I could taste a relapse. I prayed, read another chapter of the book and just tried to relax, let go and allow the healthy natural inclinations have their space—I was tired and just let myself sleep. But I truly can just taste the richness of the fantasy–I want to go back to some particular images. I am sure you understand—It is like I know the image is there in my mind beckoning—like in my peripheral vision. It does die down on its own –but I just know it is there waiting for my full attention. I don’t know how to resist the images of people I saw “out there” yesterday and the day before. This is, in part, why I think I overwork. Because time goes by, I make more money–and I don’t have to relapse. Of course, that is one of the big “symptoms”- When I overwork I am not really breathing or recovering. Just “covering”

  18. I am in early recovery again after having some years clean. When I relapsed I didn’t come right back and I found that my personality had really changed when I came back into recovery. I have become a lot like those people I was using with. What used to be natural when I was in recovery before is not any more. I have moved away but still feel a drawing to the old neighborhood where I was using at. Moving on to being around upward progressive recovery people is uncomfortable at times. Because I, a lot of the times, don’t want to be responsible. But I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. So I am going to keep drudging ahead. I think I will accept life on life’s terms again eventually.

  19. “Letting go of people, places & things” This is a very relevant topic for me with the season that I am in. Because of my recent relapse my wife is extremely hurt. I hurt b/c I am taking us through this ordeal but now I am in a place where I am just upset. Particularly with my wife. A strong part of me feels that I deserve bad treatment for my mess ups but I feel that I’m already in a rut & don’t really hear more negative or receive negative treatment. So I’d rather give her space & not see her at all. But I got to believe that that’s what my addict wants. So letting go of people is what I will try to apply, letting go of their insults towards to me, letting go of their lack of forgiveness, letting go of their progress in their own recovery. This is such a hard thing to swallow but I must.

  20. People Places and THINGS
    Well it’s the Things I really need to let go of first which for me are the beliefs that have kept me in my insanity all my life. I sit here this morning reading this blog, me on a Saturday morning doing something different than I have ever done, to wake up and change the thought that I can’t think in the morning and do something that is going to change the way I approach my day. I spent my entire life hearing the voices of my father telling me I couldn’t read, was useless and would never be worth anything.
    At fifty I am learning to change these thoughts, these things and the habits of the past.

    Now, for the PEOPLE, it’s funny I just got a call from a person that I have not yet determined whether they are a person that I need to let go of or not, I met him in my acting out. We became more than that and he is a big reason I am sitting here. He, in my mind, is the only person I have close to me to help me step into what I feel is the boiling water of this new life. My softer easier way. The feeling I got was not nurturing. If I wasn’t sitting here right now I would be letting my mind get caught up in his words. At this I choose to let them go! Thank you blog.
    Not really too many other people left in my life so this one should be easy! I have been so caught up in my isolation and in my addiction for so many years, thinking that my nameless, faceless sex partners, were in some delusionary way my family, friends and lovers. Sadly most of the important people in my life have died and the others went away when I got sober three years ago from drugs and alcohol. And I am now stepping into this program, and as the FOG of sex addiction thins, I realize I am truly alone. This for me is the most frightening and SAD thing I have come to realize.
    I am once again trying to hold on to the faith (because the program and you say so) that it won’t always be this way, that I will in time develop new and real and intimate relationships with real people that will love me for me. I am also seeing that this person that I think I am, I also have to let go of. He doesn’t love me or nurture me.

    The PLACES hhhmmm
    What I call the DARK places. Where I go when I’m feeling lonely and, that I see, is a lot more than I realized.
    I am learning and realizing these are not places changing the loneliness but feeding like a demon, eating at my soul and replacing the void with even darker loneliness. GOD HELP ME and keep me in the light. I’m balling my eyes out right now and need to end this with a positive thought: I am working towards my highest good and I am choosing to love myself if only in this moment. I LOVE YOU ERIC and thank you GOD for giving me the strength to even type those words.

  21. Discovery for me was gradual. I was in denial at first and as I began to seek help, I thought I was going to find some type of program where I could nip this problem in the but, graduate and move on. I soon realized that there was no cure. When I hit my bottom, which was the realization that I was an addict and could not stop, I was willing to do anything. So letting go of people and places, was easy. Letting go of THINGS, well I am still struggling with that today. My old ideas are alive and well. My old ideas about recovery, life, and people. My old resentments, prejudice, and mistrust. My old ideas of confrontation, self will, and close mindedness. There is prayer that I came across a couple of time in recovery. As I am writting this post, I think I should start using it. It goes like this….

    “Lord, today help me set aside
    Everything I think I know about You
    Everything I think I know
    About myself,
    Everything I think I know
    About others, and
    Everything I think I know About my own recovery
    For a new experience in myself
    A new experience in my fellows
    And my own recovery”

  22. Letting Go, I take this to a new place in my recovery now. I have for the most part let go of people, I have let go of places (thank god that one was relatively easy), things well things is a broad wide concept.

    Have I let go of resentments? Have I let go of hurts? Trespasses? Pain? Frustration? Longing to be numb? I work on a daily basis to let go of these things. I can not afford to have these things suck the life out of my soul that is just now starting to breath fresh air.

    Most importantly, I am learning how to let go of the past, to accept that was then and this is now. What served as a coping mechanism for me then does not work now. I did not have a choice with my first trauma, it is completely on me for every trauma I inflict upon myself once I know better. Acting out = Trauma. Today I have a choice. The pain is as unbearable today has it was five years ago. But today I KNOW this pain will not kill me and acting out will.

  23. Wow that covers a lot of ground. First thing I thought was f*!k, THINGS! I still got things, that’s right, I do. That’s so wrong, here I am thinking I’m not powerless again, I must still be an arrogant prick ! Oh well the layers of an onion can only be peeled one at a time. Another trip to the dumpster, won’t be the first, and for today it’s the last. That’s enough for one entry, accomplished a lot.

  24. More People Places and Things
    Let me return to the point of this chapter which is “letting go” of people, places, and things. I used to equate giving up my addiction with cutting off my arm. Unfortunately I had practice because I had to do it more than once. My addiction was about as layered as it could get. I had alias, and personas, online, in person, documented in many ways. Every one of those threads was like a chain that kept me bonded to my addiction. There’s a saying that always moved me in the Promises “half measures” avail us nothing. So for me it is not until I erase every detail of my past that I can truly begin to be free. I look forward to that because believe me there is still suffering. Heck I get triggered on I95! I trust that in time my higher power will relieve me and grant me with great gifts to fill the formerly self-centered pursuit and escape of my addiction.

  25. I am just starting the program but already know that i have to let go a lot of my old life. I have already committed to giving up the places where i was acting out but I know it will be harder to let go the relationships that were contributing to my addiction. My hope is that the people important in my life will realize the hard work that i am doing and support me or cannot remain a major part of my life.

  26. Letting go is exactly what I need to do, what the recovering-addict in me wants to do. But the addict in me does not want to let go. The addict keeps telling me it’ll be fun to go back.
    So the recovering-addict in me is avoiding the triggers. I’m finding the more I put the energy into recovery, the less power the addict in me has. The recovering-addict is winning. My sponsor told me to immerse myself in recovery. I am seeing why he gave me that advice.

  27. May 15, 2014 so I posted in 08 and 12…. what is different now. Hell what isn’t different? My first meeting was Oct 26th, 2006 and in January 2007 I reconnected with a partner from the 90s. He is THE person, of the “People, Places and Things” I needed to let go of. He has been my drug of choice, gateway drug. I chose in 2008 to not fully let go of him, in 2012 I chose to not fully let go of him. I have had six additional years of acting out that I really did not need to have. THE only choice I have is over the first act. Once I break my inner circle, my bottom line I give up any choices I have to my scream addict and have no doubt she’s a real bitch.

    I am grateful one of the main tenets of our program is “progress not perfection” I have had some amazing progress in the last six years. I can help but wonder, what if I had been fully willing to let go of “people, places and things”. I have 12 days sober today. Today and for the last 11 days I have been willing to let go of that person. It is simple, NOT easy NOT easy but very simply. Let go of people, places and things.

  28. Letting go for me means letting go of who I was. My entire life I thought with my head and what got me where I am was everything in my head. Letting go of all those decisions I made letting go of all those thoughts I have had letting go of all the anger and bitterness that came out when I opened my mouth. The only way I can stay in recovery is to let go and realize I have to learn everything new again. I cannot continue anything like how I have in the past for doing so will surely derail me. I have to learn to listen to my heart. I cannot just act I must take my time and feel so then I will truly know I am doing the right things to stay in recovery. The hardest is letting my wife go. I have hurt her to the core destroyed the trust and taken from her her most comfort her place to come to be protected was me. Now she can seek no solace from me the one who has hurt her so. I must let go of her if I am to ever get her back that for me is the hardest thing to do. But I will because I feel it is right and I have to trust my heart that she will see my recovery and when I am ready I can come to her whole complete and true with love. Thank you father for all the gifts you give me your strength keep me on my path

  29. For me once i realized i have a sex addiction letting go of material things that were convenient for me to act out with was easy .throwing away porn was symbolic but only a small part of the addiction .letting go of behaviors and people was infinitely harder ,i had to recognize what behaviors caused me to cross the line .I have been able to grow along spiritual lines and create more outer circle behaviors .The most difficult challenge was to let go of my Ex whom i care for deeply .My ex is a trigger to my acting out and my hope is that she too will seek recovery and join my life when we both have sobriety and tools to continue a life of recovery .This I pray for .

  30. Gratitude. That is a very special emotion to embody. As someone suffering from an addiction, it is hard to find gratitude in most of the daily activities. Right now I feel some gratitude for the group, understanding that I’m not alone in this fight. However, I find the things I find gratitude for are overshadowed by other feelings like guilt, anger, confusion. I find myself revisiting “acting out” events. And those events are still present in my memory. The conundrum is that it is interfering in my recovery. I want those feelings mentioned before to be taken away from me. I want to find and embrace the original feelings that I had when I met my spouse. So in the long run, I find gratitude, however it is in constant battle with the ulterior negative feelings and emotions.

  31. Personally, I have a lot of baggage – old traumas, anger and resentment
    for the things that happened to me – and then there’s the anger and self-induced pain that I inflict on myself. Letting go of past transgressions, for me – right now is difficult. I still hold a lot of anger towards those that hurt me. I am aware of what I’m doing, holding onto those feelings is not right for me, however, I haven’t found the tools in my toolbox to move on. In some respects, I want them to hurt as much as they hurt me. I feel that the early childhood trauma/neglect created the problems that persist today. I understand that I need to let it go. It is in the past, but I can’t seem to find the button to push to let it go.

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