In my addiction, the language of communication was at best non-existent. I lost the ability to talk to those I was closest with. My wife had become a total stranger. My friends hadn’t heard from me in days or weeks. I had isolated myself into a “cage of hell.” I feigned illness to stay home from work to act out. I had lied to my friends and wife so often I couldn’t decipher the truth from the frauds. I was essentially “walking dead.”
Thankfully, sobriety changed my life. Instead of being ashamed of my actions talking to either sex, I had turned a corner and was on a new path called recovery. No longer did I fear talking to people without the usual come-ons. God had saved me from the humiliation that I had ended up in on more than one occasion. I had learned that people were human beings to be respected and valued. They were no longer objects for my insane sexual appetite. Not only was I learning how to respect myself, I was learning to have respect for others as well.
In recovery, I learned how to communicate with everyone, young, old, male or female, gay or straight, any culture and any race. By taking the time to listen to others and share my feelings I was creating meaningful relationships with people. Once again I was sharing myself openly and honestly. Friends were calling me again and I them. My wife and I were speaking intimately more and more often. I liken this to being reborn into life, one moment and one day at a time. I was living the steps of recovery in my life and it showed.
Now fast forward to today, 8 years later recovery has brought me more meaningful relationships than I could have ever imagined. I’m so blessed that I sponsor others who share their intimate thoughts and feelings with me, which make me grow. What a gift. God bless you all. Thank you, Papa.