Consistency …The Flow of Recovery

In recovery, we adjust to a new way of being. We shift our thought processes and actions. We, in effect, are born anew. I know for me it was a daunting task to even look at the scope of things that needed to change in my world, but as stated in “How it Works”, I had to be willing to go to any length for this change to occur. I had to open myself up to a new way of thinking, Positive Thinking. I had to allow myself the opportunity to interact with people in a whole new light, Letting Others Help Me, and finally, I had to be in action with these newfound ideas. No longer was I allowed to isolate, make stuff up in my head, or shirk responsibilities.

I was now going to be coached to become the best “Me” I could be. True, I would stumble along this new path, however, through the guidance of my Higher Power I learned to stretch and grow even when it was uncomfortable. The one word I would come to learn was CONSISTENCY. Putting actions into play on a daily basis, day after day. This consistency became the electrical flow that powered my tools of recovery. It was a feeling deep inside my bones that made me vibrate with energy. My mind began to look and feel differently.

For the first time in my life, I was accomplishing tasks in a rhythmic fashion. At first, it was simple tasks of just getting up from bed at a specific time each day. Next, I would add to that, making myself read “Answers in the Heart” once I was awake. Soon I added more responsibilities like feeding myself a good breakfast to nourish my body. From this little effort, I was able to capitalize on the great feeling of accomplishment that I had rolled into a consistent rhythm. Days turned into weeks and then to months and I had found myself building up evidence that I was once again becoming a responsible, accountable adult. Consistency, I was guided to understand, was definitely the “Flow of Recovery.”

Today, nearly seven years later, I still use it in my daily life which has blossomed into this magnificent, amazing world of love and joy. Even though I started out small and gradually increased the number of tasks I eventually did, I did it all, one moment at a time. This turned into one day at a time. This is the rhythm of recovery. Thank you, Papa.

8 thoughts on “Consistency …The Flow of Recovery

  1. Consistetncy… was not a word in my vocabulary until recovery. Well as far as action, reaction it was always present. Consistently disappointed in myself that I broke yet another promise, consistently looking for the same most destructive mean partners I could find, consistently feeling guilt, remorse and shame after yet another acting out event…

    So that was consistency as reaction… now there has SLOWLY developed a consistency in action. The main thing that I was able to do was to go to meetings and that opened many many other suggestions for consistency, like hey how bout going to bed at the same time every night and not staying up all night trolling on line.. Oh yeah since you are going to bed at a decent time how bout actually getting up early enough to not only make it to work but be on time. Consistency was not easy for me, I always believed I was this free “boheiman” spirit and could not be tied down to man made things such as time. This was all a line of bull I feed myself so I could act out when I wanted to and how I wanted to… consistency allowed me to actually feel grounded for the first time in myself. Once I felt somewhat grounded I started to feel a very small sense of safety and security. Two things I NEVER knew in active sex addiction.

    Sexual sobriety has required I change EVERYTHING in my thoughts, actions any way of life. Without being willing to go to any lengths to quit acting out I would not have even considered having consistency in my life. However consistently coming back and consistently working the SAA program has given my a life beyond my wildest dreams as they say. I am still not consistent in honoring my inner circle, so while my day count is fresh again, my sobriety is an amazing gift that helps me to grow and love myself more and more everyday.

    • Consistency – this is huge for me. After allowing a large part of my life outside of work to be dictated by my feelings – this is a tough one. But I know its vital. I have to get into the habit of doing the right things – the honorable things – the things that are good, and will benefit me in my recovery – but others as well. Its so very easy to slip back, and begin being inconsistent with journaling, being thankful, being transparent, seeking my higher power, and reading. I’m physically exhausted today, and still have a ways to go before I’ll be home chilling. And when I get home – I won’t exactly be chilling. I’ve got my other work to do – my recovery work. These are the days when I feel like saying – this is just too much! Screw it! But I’m enjoying the feeling of being consistent, and doing the right thing. And I know that when I ease up one day on my recovery work, I’m making it that much easier to give in the next day and so on. I have to be consistent its in consistency that I can find hope. There’s far too much at stake here for me to do otherwise. And I’m empowered by not only the positive feelings and satisfaction that comes from consistency, but by remembering that my brothers in the program are in their own battles every day. Struggles to be consistent in their recovery, or to climb back in the ring after losing their sobriety.

  2. “Going to any lengths “, day after day “consistently” is what stuck me in these posts.
    I need to go to any lengths, not just in some aspects but EVERYTHING, as a part of me still wants to CONTROL AND ENJOY some aspects?

    As other member’s have said, it may seem difficult and painful, but its worth it and becomes easy. Today I pray for the willingness to turn my will and life over to the care of God. One Day at A time.

    Thank you GOD and Thank you SAA

  3. My double life was the only “constant” before SAA. Everything else was in turmoil, at least inside me. My life was falling apart. I was having physical ailments, I was sufferring from depression, my marriage was falling apart and my acting out behaviors were becoming increasingly riskier and more frequent.

    Then I found SAA. Consistency and steadfast adherence to to the principles of the program were my only lifeline. If I wanted to live and be free of suicidal thoughts, be sober and stop my dangerous behaviors, and be healthy again to know serenity, then I had to eat and breathe the program. I had to be willing to go to ANY length. At first, it was 90 meetings in 90 days, rigorous honesty no matter what the consequences, and call members in SAA everyday. Then it was reading everyday, follow a daily/weekly/monthly routine, and finally do step work on a regular schedule.
    This saved my life. If you make the commitment to be consistent with the program, with the help of our Brothers and Sisters in SAA and your Higher Power, you will see the Promises come true.
    There is no other way to say it, anything less than consistency is a recipe for relapse.

  4. I’m currently sober 127 days. In those 127 days I have worked through the first 8 steps and am currently working steps 9, 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis. And, apart from step 9, those remaining 3 steps, either directly or indirectly, all deal with CONSISTENCY.
    I don’t particularly like the word “consistency” or the reality it describes…never have. I realize now how as an addict I relied on chaos and inconsistency to fuel my addiction. Beginning the slow process of learning, baby-step-by-baby-step, to become a disciplined, consistent person is often terrifying for me…someone who, for all intents and purposes, is a functioning 8 year old emotionally and spiritually. When confronted with having to grow in my daily consistency in working the steps and doing the things required for me to stay sober and grow spiritually I, like an 8 year old, just want to crawl back in bed, curl up in a fetal position and go back to sleep hoping it will all go away.
    Of course, it never goes away and the reality I know I must face is that either I continue to work my program of recovery, grow spiritually and learn how to live life on life’s terms by consistently doing healthy things on a daily basis or gradually fall back into the addiction and finally disappear into the shadows. I’m not particularly enamored with the latter prospect. I desire and choose life and freedom over enslavement to the addiction today.
    So, now the next challenge of my recovery truly begins…CONSISTENCY… learning day by day how to ingrain healthy habits into this new, wonderful life of freedom and joy I’ve been given through our program of recovery. Having seen wonderful leaps forward in consistency like starting my day with prayer, talking to at least 3 other men in program each day, working out the financial issues my years of addiction have created…these are just some of the ways I’ve seen great growth in the area of consistency in my life. Now it is time to go forward and build on the foundation in place. Pray for me…

  5. Good topic of conversation. Consistency in my world as an addict has been nothing short of being inconsistent. As much as I tried to appear to have all my stuff together, I was consistently inconsistent with living a happy, healthy and productive life that I could be proud of, let alone share with my spouse, family, friends and community.

    A year ago I step into the rooms of the SAA Fellowship, exposed to the reality that as an sex addict, my life was a consistent mess. I had no value to the thought of consistency because as a lying, manipulative, dishonest man living in denial, I really didn’t believe that I could do anything consistent, or stick to something I knew to be in my best interest.

    As I pull back the curtain a year later, so much in my life has changed. I AM PRESENT!!! That means I continually seek to learn on how to be consistent with where I am at today and what shows up in my day to day life. I often use the term “Creating a Rhythm” as a way to say that we have to have pipelines of consistency if recovery is going to flow throughout our lives. For me that means, staying active in my recovery, personal time with God, communication with my wife, fellowship with those in recovery, Finances, exercising and something as simple as washing the dishes.

    The most enlightening factor about being consistent as a person in recovery, is that much of the addictive, obsessive, compulsive behaviors that spilled into other areas of my life have slowly been poured into healthy filters of consistency, therefore allowing me to stay consistent and present when something from my past shows up. I am grateful for this Gift of Recovery that God, who is “MR. CONSISTENT” has given to me, my sponsor, my wife and friends of the fellowship who have consistently been there to help support and guide me in one way or another.

  6. This is the key to recovery. I have learned that I must stay vigilant, anything short of that will not be enough. “half measures availed us nothing.” structure filled with an outer circle routine is a must to combat my disease.

  7. I had always been consistent with going to work, rarely if ever missing a day, but everything else was inconsistent. When my work became a little more inconsistent and I had more time during the day is when my acting out worsened. Since starting the program, I have improved but still not where i want it to be. I have committed to doing 90 meetings in 90 days, and I have been calling my sponsor regularly and other people in the fellowship less so. I am still struggling with the calls, and doing the thankful list every day. I would also like to work in some exercise and meditation to my routine. I do believe that improving my consistency is important to staying on the path to recovery.

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