“Where We’ve Been…” First Step Stories

This is a page dedicated to where we’ve been, what happened and what it’s like today. Please feel free to tell your story. Others will learn from your experience, strength and hope.

5 thoughts on ““Where We’ve Been…” First Step Stories

  1. “Where I’ve been..? Easy, to hell. What happened ? God saved me. Today is a miracle of miracles that keeps coming my way.”
    A grateful recovered sex addict

    You know as I’ve written that quote I remind myself of the delusional state of mind I was in. I mean who would ever mistake me for a woman…come on really.

    Well that’s how insane my behavior took me. It took me to the brink of death. I was only weeks away from committing suicide when, in a dream, God spoke to me and said, “I’m tired of you playing, Cut it out now.” And then a second later I awoke. The first five words out of my mouth were, “I am a sex addict.” That was the the beginning of my journey into recovery.

    After 30 years of debilitating, progressive acting out I had finally hit a bottom. With God’s conversation so fresh in my memory I took the dream to be a divine intervention. I did believe in God, so trusting in the conversation was simple for me to do. He had taken my compulsion to act out away. I didn’t feel the pull to act out. My mind was clear. I was having a moment of clarity that continued for months.

    With the guidance of a sponsor and working the steps I have come to this place of tranquility, serenity and peace. Today, by being of service to other addicts I’m able to keep what I have and by His glory I am soooo grateful. No one said this was an easy program. It’s a simple program to follow, however it does take work. The riches of the “Promises” are waiting for those who put in the effort. God bless you all on your journeys. Thank you Papa

  2. It has Been 2 Months Since I have Admitted That I Have A Sex Addiction….I Haven’t Realize How Much This Addiction Has Control My Life…The Day After I Got Caught I Was Looking To Act Out But Something Got A Hold Of Me And Said What The Hell Are You Doing You Just Got Caught…Then I Finally Realize Its Time To Get help… I call A Therapist And I Been Seeing Her Ever Since And She Has Help Me A lot….I Have Been Going To Meeting About 3 To 4 Times A week And It Has Help Me So Much… Listening To These Story’s Has Help Me A Great Deal…I thought That I The Only Person That Has A Sex Problem But I Realize Now That I Am Not Alone There Are People Out There That Are Like Me And There Are people And Programs That Can Help Us… I Love Going To My Meeting I Leave There So Happy….I Have Made So Progress With My Wife She Is Starting To Trust Me Not All The Way But I Guess its A Start…..I Didn’t Realize How Hard This Is Going To Be But At Least I Have Been Getting The Help I Need And Its A Start…

  3. The Cost of Consciousness

    How does a person who is insane discover than he/she is insane? In some cases, they never can – the brain is broken, or they have lost contact entirely with reality. But in the case of Addiction, the price of consciousness is PAIN. For me, after 40 plus years, I was insane – did insane things, took insane risks, hurt people in insane ways. I was insane because I thought I was normal. “all guys are like this” – “I just like sex – or alcohol – or gambling (fill in your own addiction!)”. “What’s wrong with having sex – both sexes like it – doesn’t hurt anyone”.

    When even PAIN doesn’t wake you up, you really are crazy! After two failed marriages, alienation of my children and friends, uncounted hours, days, months of misery, of despair, counseling -completely unconscious that this was not real LIFE, God sent me a message.

    The last acting out – the pain, the misery, and a small glimmer of light entered through the depression…finally striking me with realization like a thunderclap – I AM SICK, INSANE – AN ADDICT! I was helpless, hopeless, irrepairable. God, who I didn’t believe in, sent me another message and others who understood my pain and insanity. He sent me a counselor, a contact with a 12 step program, and a forlorn hope that maybe I could salvage some pitiful scrap of my miserable life.

    That was Step 1 for me. I capitulated – admitted that I was powerless over my sexual compulsions, and that my life had become unmanageable (and that it had been unmanagible for my whole adult life! – Without my noticing!)

    Going through Step 1 saved my life, my hopes for happiness, and a new consciousness of a power greater than myself, that would help me forge a new path that leads to a spiritual renaissance, a loving relationship, a new start for me with my children, and a totally new outlook for the rest of my life. PAIN opened my mind to what real life is really like. Step 1 is a GREAT BEGINNING, a gift from God, and the wonderful caring people that bring it to us all.

  4. I was a sex addict for over 40 years – I have been a recovering addict androl sober for almost 3 1/2 years. I’m proud of being sober, since I never thought that sobriety was even POSSIBLE, for such an out of control person as I. The Steps showed me otherwise, and that sex wasn’t the only thing that addiction is about. There are usually many character defects to keep the addiction company. We learn to face them in Steps 4 & 5, regardless of how difficult and uncomfortable it is for us.

    My main character defect was lying. I lied about anything and everything – most of all to hide my acting out from my partners or the public In addition, I lied to myself (to avoid looking at the truth about myself), to others to “spare their feelings” or to hide from confrontation. And sometimes for no reason at all, to hide my true feelings, addictions, avoid an argument, or to make myself look like someone better than I knew myself to be. I was so busy being proud of being sexually sober, I forgot that The Steps are all about LIVING the TRUTH about myself and others. This means TELLING the truth, even when it’s not easy.

    I got caught today doing just that – I made an agreement with my partner, then behind her back changed it because I “thought I knew better than she”, but without the courage of telling her first, or discussing my side of the argument. Just changed it behind her back, never even remembering that lies hurt, and have consequences. When she found out, it brought back memories for her and me about all the other lies and lies of omission that I flooded her with more than 3 1/2 years ago. A tremendous letdown for both of us, for no good reason, by yielding to fear of conflict and false pride. God sent me a reminder to shake my complacency – TELL THE TRUTH! In big matters and small, be courageous enough to tell the truth. Don’t be ashamed or afraid. TELL THE TRUTH! It is the best way to be faithful to your loved ones, your HP and the STEPS.

    And it’s much less painful in the end. It makes you stronger in every way.

    t

  5. Spiritual Power

    Why me? Ever had question occur to you when something bad happens? A financial crisis – loss of a friend or family member – a dread health diagnosis – discovering you are an addict – whatever seems terrible and frightening? Happens all the time to me – and I think – everyone some time or another.

    Is it true? Am I being singled out by fate, God, my boss, the economy, etc.? All or them? I was reading The Course in miracles, and read that what happens to me is not important – there are triumphs and miseries enough to go around for everyone – what is important is learning what that experience is teaching me, and how I handle it. We are not permanent in this body – it will wither and die, inevitably. We are here to learn. AND WE ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF WHAT HAPPENS – As the first Steps tells us, we recognize and admit that we are powerless over our addictions (and in fact, against whatever else happens to us). The lesson is to admit it, recognize we are powerless, then give it over to God and ask His help and guidance. The rest of the Steps are to look at ourselves truthfully and fearlessly, and learn to align our minds with that of our Higher Power. This will raise our consciousness of ourselves and others, show us who and what we really are – a perfect spirit in an imperfect, temporary body. This spirit will heal our minds if we turn it over to Whoever IS in charge (H.P. of course) of what happens to us. A far cry from the prison of addiction and fear.that we experience before Step 1.

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