The word freedom appears in my mind when I think of the title to this entry. In my addiction I was liken to a slave and enslaved to a life of demoralization, shame and constant grief. I could not see the hideous nature of this beast. Denial worship me and kept me starved for affection. It wasn’t until I had my epiphany and realized I was a sex addict that my actions and behaviors came to light. By shining light on my disease I could begin to see just how my delusional thinking got me to the level of depravity I had attained. Fortunately, I found the rooms of SAA and my recovery began. Through guidance and suggestions from a sponsor and my fellows I came to understand the solution was upon me. As it states in the promises, I began to know a new freedom and new happiness. I wasn’t waking up in fear of the last lie that I told. I wasn’t fearful that I was going to go to jail or that I was loosing my sanity. That feeling of uselessness and self pity started to disappear. I was on a journey, not in survival mode. Friends began to trickle back into my life. I was gaining self esteem. I know today my recovery is my salvation and holds the keys to the freedom I so deeply wanted, but never knew how to obtain. Forever free from the monster who lives in the shadows and yearns to have my soul. Grateful for my Higher Power for the gifts that I have received, one day at a time.