The Two Things That Keep Me Sober

 

As I have kept myself sober there are two things that hold me together. Now, you’ve got to understand, I’m just another Bozo on the bus, cow in the herd, or more succinctly, another lemon on the tree of life. However, as I have walked this path of mine it is clear that two “its” are at cause. Just think of them like Dr. Seuss would have, as “It 1″ and “It 2″ , and it’s because of each of them that I am sober today. 

 

“It 1″ we will say is because of my Higher Power. No, that’s not right. It is my HP. Without Him or my spiritual condition I most likely would have become a psychopath. By His grace I am not an insane person today. In my years I have felt His warm hands hold and nurture me, give me guidance, love and support. It is He who has the power to arrest my disease one day at a time. Trust me, left to my own devices there would be mayhem and possible murder. But I have a secret, not really. I have a gift of doing His will instead of my own… My will is what got me in the rooms in the beginning. Bad will, bad will. His will, being lived, is a life of fulfillment, love and fellowship. Sharing His will with others and supporting the addict who still suffers is the glue that holds me together. His will and spirit are clearly defined in the Big Book. So I have a game plan just like every winning SuperBowl team. I have a guide book that Bill W. wrote for all of us, about suffering from the disease of selfishness and self-centeredness. His gift to me is my bible that I look at on a daily basis to guide me on my journey. And it’s through my HP that the words have meaning. 


Now “It 2″ is as important as my HP. “It 2″ are the Steps that are contained in the Big Book. Step 1 thru Step 12. All of which support my God conscious mind. Now we all know that Bill W. was divinely inspired when he wrote the Big Book. The evidence is too strong not to believe that, and besides, where else could you find a formula so compelling that it shifts people’s lives on a daily basis. I’m not a hard sell, a little insane in the past, but not a hard sell. So I have journeyed down this path of the Twelve Steps and a true inspirational miracle occurred, I was relieved of my compulsion to act out. Yes sir… Up and gone. Today I live as a man changed in thinking, acting, speaking, seeing and hearing. A simple conversation, I was reborn. The steps, worked honestly, diligently and without remorse, have generated a psychic change in my life. These steps can change a man from acting and living as a selfish and self-centered juvenile to a man of character, heart and soul, evidenced by his actions to assist others of his kind on a daily basis. Away from delusion, dishonesty and chaos, this work has fulfilled my life with the spiritual energy to overcome things that used to baffle me. Today, because of “It1″ & “It 2″ I live a life happy, joyous and free of my disease. May God bless you on your journey as He has blessed me. Thank you Papa. 

9 thoughts on “The Two Things That Keep Me Sober

  1. The 12 steps being the 2 things that keep us sober (12)..Good topic. For me the 12 steps are “A Way of Life”. Before 12 step recovery, sobriety was a constant hit and miss. The disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I was baffled! My HP gave me the Gift of Desperation, which provided enough gas to get me to SAA. The Gift of Desperation got me here, but it won’t keep me here. For me the 12 step Way of Life connects me to my Higher Power. I believe that connection keeps me sober. Generally, I could sense when I lose the connection, because I go into “White Knuckling”. But if my connection is good I feel at peace.

    “See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others

    Author- “I’ll let you find it yourself, recovery is about seeking”

  2. What keeps me sober…” No matter what” those three words keep me sober. Sex addiction is to me the MOST baffling, the MOST cunning and MOST demoralizing addiction this addict has suffered from. So my personal mantra;
    NO MATTER WHAT
    show up
    believe that others believe
    pray
    have willingness

    I thought there were many more but all of my other thoughts can go under one of these four thoughts… show up, show up to meeting, show up for life show up for myself. Maybe only my body is there but the mind will eventually follow IF i keep coming back. Believing others believe… that is my personal sobriety cornerstone. I was unwilling to believe in a higher power, I was unwilling to pray, I was unwilling to believe I was worth more than anonymous abusive acting out, I was unwilling to believe that feelings were not facts. I was unwilling to believe that withdraw would not kill me. By seeing and knowing that other recovering addicts whole heartedly believed all those things I SLOWLY became willing to know that they did believe and eventually I could do. AS a direct result of that willingness sprang out of me first a very slow painful drip just a little bit at a time i was willing to give up until the floodgates of submission and surrender overwelmed me. Not just once but multiple times.

    Things that keep me sober…. NO MATTER WHAT… show up, believe others belive, pray and have willingness….

  3. Somewhere along the way, I developed (or was given) honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. Honesty to see myself for what I had become. Open mindedness to understand that other people had recovered from the same state I was in. Willingness to try what others had tried- because it had worked for them.

    The result: goodbye misery, hello God! The swallowing of intellectual pride (“I dont see any evidence that there is a god”) is such a small price to pay for a return to sanity, normalcy and happiness. I often wonder why I was bestowed with the gifts of honesty, open-mindedness and willingness, when I see others are not. I thank God all the time for gracing me with these simple but necessary tools to tear down my walls and welcome Him, and recovery, into my life.

    Thank you Bill W, I never would have done it without you!!

  4. The 12 steps have enabled me to develop a conscious contact with my higher power. And it is this connection that keeps me sober day after day. Just like any relationship, it requires daily maintenance.

  5. I can’t believe it, I got my beautiful purple 9 month chip!! I now know the difference between ‘white knuckling’ and being truly abstinent! The 2 things that keep me sober (abstinent from sex, drugs, alcohol, sugar, and compulsive behavior) are SPIRITUALLITY AND SUPPORT. I pray every morning for strength to stay abstinent just for today,read recovery literature Every Day,pray throughout the day (harder when I don’t want to pray). Reach out All through the day and stay accountable and HONEST ALWAYS with program family and ‘normies.’ When I first came in SAA I said “you people are taking crazy pills if you think I’m going to stop having sex” and now about a year later I’m. Abstinent 9 months and feel for the first time in my life that I am Deserving of love and I will wait patiently for my HP to provide.

  6. I like this post, it goes to the heart of living a life free from “acting out”.
    Although staying sober is much more complex for me than 2 things, these Two Things are the foundation. They are not mutually exclusive and one can’t exist without the other if sobriety is going to be achieved, in my opinion.
    Getting in touch with my HP and relying ONLY on him to keep me sober is like putting my car on cruise control then jumping into the back seat. Pretty soon I’m going to crash.
    Walking the path of the 12 Steps without my HP is also wreckless. Would you take a road trip without a map, money or a phone? Of course not, because you’d get lost.

    Getting sober is different from staying sober and I’ve been able to do it by working the steps with my sponsor AND relying on my HP to show me the light when I thought there was none.

  7. What keeps me SOBER?
    I am struggling with sobriety

    But what really keeps me sober.

    1. Definitely my HP though at times I struggle to have faith.

    2. Step work and keeping a daily inventory

    3. Using the tools of the program.
    a> Reaching out and seeking help
    b> Keeping it simple one day at a time
    c> Attending as many meetings as I can in a week to stay connected
    d> Daily prayer and mediation
    e> Being accountable to others
    f> Living in the moment and not isolating.
    g> Self care , not getting into a HALT syndrome.

    d> Doing First things first.

    e> Remembering that I cant and don’t control other people, places or things. The serenity prayer.

    4. Working constantly on my character defects. Acknowledging my part in my resentments and fears.

    and on and on.

  8. I love this! I haven’t posted in a quite a while – but this is exactly what I needed. Yes…I was…and in some ways still am…”a self centered juvenile”. I have so far to go. And I’m finally convinced that without God and my brothers in the rooms, I will continue to be what I’ve always been. I need to get my head and my will around the fact that I need to submit to the will of “my higher power”. I seem to float back into the realm of not trusting God and falling back on my perspective and my will. That doesn’t work. I should know that by now. I hope my higher power can forgive me for being so hard-headed and full of self-pride. I find that I’m so much more at peace when I stop trying to orchestrate everything…like the traffic…and other people. I know I can’t change anyone but myself and without my higher power, can’t even do that. So here’s a big thank you to God and to all the brothers who share the rooms with me. I hope that the next time I post on this topic, I can write the the same conviction that the author or the blog does, about how much my higher power has changed me, and how I have truly submitted myself to His will.

  9. When we are first confronted with the fact that we are helpless against our addiction and powerless against it – it is an overwhelming experience. Finding out that we are INSANE after all the years of lying and justifying our behavior. We don’t know where to go, what to do. Steps 1 & 2 give us a roadmap to healing our souls, our lives.

    When I first found out how out of control my life was, and that I denied that I had a problem for so many years, it was a shock to realize that I didn’t have a clue of what to do next. Step 2 gives us the answer. Recognizing that there is a higher power that can restore us to sanity. Even if I didn’t BELIEVE in a higher power, as I didn’t, there was nothing else to try – no hope, no plan, no way out. Our H.P. is so compassionate and loving, He will heal us even if we don’t believe in Him Jjust blindly follow the steps – turn our lives and our wills over to H,P. Things will get better. At first, it is a stumbling recovery, an overwhelming impossible hope. But the promises do come true, Then comes confidence, restoration of hope, and a new person emerges from the wreckage.

    First follow the steps – then see yourself change into a spiritual and honest, caring person – the person we were born to be.

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