Here we are at step nine, a place of making peace with those we have harmed. The real question is how do we address those we’ve harmed so long ago and who it would bring harm to them if we contacted them. We don’t contact them. I have so many people that I will never contact. The difference is there are those who I made direct amends too. These were my living amends. My wife was one. It was difficult in the beginning to think about giving an amends to her because of all the pain I have caused her. But I learned that this was not the case. Once I began with the amends it got easier to complete. Her response was so compassionate it made me cry. Doing amends is not for just us, rather to heal the wound that has divided us from those we love or loved. I loved doing my ninth step once I got over the initial fear. This step is a very healing step.