Step Seven…The Humility

Step seven is about humility. This was a good step. One that my sponsor had to work along with me. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand it. It was that I hadn’t learned to let go and let God in enough at that time. This step is about asking for help, again. Like the third step before it I was asking for God’s assistance. The ability to let God into my life and take control was still miles away from reality. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe He was capable of assisting me. It was that for so long in my life I hadn’t let anyone else control my life except me. So to give up control really was an issue. I finally started to let go and by reciting the seventh step prayer was able to let go and let God do His work. Some things materialized almost immediately other things came in God’s time. So I was watching as my defects slowly drifted away from me. Don’t get me wrong some defects I still work on to this day. Others were easier to resolve. The best part is that I have learned a new humility to let God do his work for me.

9 thoughts on “Step Seven…The Humility

  1. Step 7 is about asking God to remove our shortcomings. My shortcomings have everything to do with pride and shame. I worry that I cannot support lifestyle my family is use too. I have an opportunity right now to work a new business and hopefully it will grow. But I have not been an overnight success. But I still have time. I wish I did not let the pressure bother me all day long. I do focus on the business, but I feel the pressure. I need to relax.

  2. Humility – I need to remember this and not be so proud. Pride is why I kept secrets. Being humble allowed me to pick up a white chip last night when I needed to. If I had a slip in the past I used to say I did not want to pick up a white chip. Today I think differently. Today I want to pick up a white chip. I want to be honest about it. I don’t want any secrets anymore. No, I am not happy about the fact that I did not use one of the tools that I have at my disposal to prevent the slip. However, in the past I might have continued to slip for a week or two and then not tell my sponsor about for a week or two more. Today at least I can talk about it right away and then be honest and humble and pick up a chip and move on with my recovery. Because my recovery is what is most important to me and unless I am humble and honest I will not stay in recovery from this wretched disease.

    • That says it all…pride is what made me keep secrets. That is so right. As I write my 1st step..the temptation is to gloss over stuff or omit stuff…due to pride. But what I need is to lay it all out…to really humble myself. I know that is where the healing will really start. I need to remind myself of this…as long as I continue to humble myself I will grow. When I allow pride to cause me to not be transparent and honest…I am slipping back into the addiction.

  3. For me, humility is the key to staying on track. Admitting I am powerless and my life is unmanageable is the most humbling thing I think I have ever done. In the past I have had a false sense of power and control over my life. I deceived myself and others, or so I thought. I could be arrogant and annoyed with others for petty reasons to feed my ego. Then the house of cards came crashing down on top of me. I commend myself for finally admitting that I have a problem and got help. The act of admitting my addiction to me and to my wife was devastating and humbling. I want to hang on to the humility and never forget it. I cannot afford to get complacent about my recovery or the addict will feed my ego with false pride and arrogance – false sense of control again. Staying with the feeling of humility will help me stay in reality and stay on track.

  4. “Pride goeth before a fall”. I have to give that one a “That’s for damn sure!” There I was, going through my life totally oblivious to the fact I had a disease, thinking that I had everyone fooled, and that I’d easily get away with it without ever being exposed!

    Well, it seems that H.P. had a different idea – He was thinking that it was time I had a tough lesson. And who do you think won this contest?

    And so disaster ensued, or should I say, the latest in a long series of disasters. And it was very humbling. All pride, all confidence, all deceit was laid bare, as the foolish dream of a fool. And it was good.

    It was good, because it was a lesson that can never be forgotten, that it was strong enough, humiliating enough, and disastrous enough that I never want anything like that to happen again. And do I think that I can get away with anything like that again, ever?

    Not on my life.

  5. Humility: not one of my strong points. In fact, many months ago I would have thought it to be a weakness. I have listened to others asking their higher power to help them through the tough times, and I scoffed at their “stupidity”.

    I have come to believe through time, the program, and my own “stupidity” that belief in something greater than oneself is key to any success in life, because it frees us to see the reality of life. One of the realities that I have come to see and know is that sometimes shit happens. No reason, it just does.

    I have spent my life seeking control. Control of life, finances, health, and even other people. In my prideful mind, I was in control of my own destiny, and needed no help from any higher power. However, as most of us control freaks have discovered, we cannot control everything. When things went wrong in my world, rather than see that it was my attempt to control the uncontrollable that was the problem, I put the blame on others. Society is out to get me; there is a conspiracy preventing me from my accomplishment; the man is holding me down. You name it, I’ve uttered them all.

    As a result failure led me further down the path of self control, and resulted in more failure and disappointment.

    The program is giving me the tools to be humble for the first time, and to see that all my efforts to manage my life and propel it down a particular path are futile.

    I’m much calmer and more laid back these days. I still have goals and I work towards them; however, I try not to let setbacks or interruptions bring my world to a screeching halt. I keep moving forward. I know that if I keep up good work, somewhere down the road the path will smooth out again and become a little easier. I just have to look for help from my higher power and others when things get tough, so that I can keep moving ahead.

    I try to keep the Serenity Prayer in mind these days. Help me to do what I can; the rest will take care of itself.

    Shit happens!

  6. That was it! I made the decision to clean out my house. Over the years, I had accumulated the detritus of modern life and now it was causing me distress. Newspapers were still waiting to have articles clipped from them. Magazines I don’t remember reading. Clothes so old they had come back in style. Leftover paint, empty boxes, broken appliances waiting to be fixed. The unrecognizable leftover bits and pieces from projects long finished and repairs long forgotten. Broken furniture I couldn’t part with because I believed I could still repair them. All this “stuff” has finally wore me down. I must clean house before I am buried in this junk. It was time for a new way of life, one unencumbered by reminders of past.
    I dragged all this junk to the end of my driveway for the garbage man and then slept peacefully knowing my crap would be hauled away in the morning.

    I awoke to the cacophony of garbage pickup, but was dismayed to find my junk pile still at the end of the driveway. I chased down the “sanitation engineer” and demanded an explanation for his gross negligence.

    “You need to put all the newspapers in a separate brown paper bag” he replied, stifling a yawn, and then drove away before I could curse him. Fine. I followed his instruction and waited three days later for garbage pickup. He returned with the same result. My trash heap remained untouched. Livid, I chased him down.

    “You f*cking d*ck! I did what you wanted but you still didn’t pick up my garbage.” He slowed his truck down long enough to say “You need to flatten all the boxes and put them in a separate pile.” And then he was gone.

    Again, I followed his instruction and again he ignored my garbage. “Put all the clothing into blue plastic bags you get from the town disposal center,” was all I heard as he drove away. I was angry and perplexed. Why
    didn’t he give me all the instructions at one time? I needed help. So I called the town sanitation department in search of answers and to report this a**hole to his supervisor.

    A man spoke before I heard the ringing of a distant phone.

    “How can I help you Mike?” he asked in a baritone voice.

    “How did you know my name?” I replied confused.

    “You asked for help” he spoke without answering my question.

    “Well yes, I need your guidance. I have cleaned house but I don’t know how to get rid of my garbage. The garbage man won’t pick it up. What should I do?” I whined.

    “Mike, you have come to the right person” he answered and proceeded to help me organize my junk for proper disposal. He guided me through the proper disposal of paint, the separation of plastic containers, the correct dumping of old appliances, and so forth until all that garbage was organized and separated for the garbage man.

    “Thank God,” I exclaimed upon finishing. “I just want to thank you for helping me with this task.” But the line was dead before I finished talking. Strange. The next day my trash was gone, picked up by the garbage man. The only thing that remained was the feeling that I had been helped by a higher power.

  7. Humility….This is a hard one. I have been able to express humility in times of distress and turmoil. In times of complete despair. The disease did me a favor by humiliating me. I was able to humbly ask for help. Then over the course of the months life begins to become manageable. And the despair that was present in the beginning, appears as an old memory of a past event. The despair loses its power. Then slowly but surely, the EGO begins to gain momentum. The insaneous thought of acting out begins to return.

    Instead of asking for help, self-centered tapes begin to play in my mind.

    -I’M FINE
    -I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING
    -I DON’T NEED TO GO TO A MEETING TODAY

    As I write, I realize that these are dangerous times for me. I don’t have the ability to generate feelings of humility. But I can “Act as If”. I can take actions of humility, until the feeling comes. If I don’t “Turn it Over”, I know whats waiting for me with open arms at the end of the road (MY ADDICTION). I am either walking towards GOD or towards my INNER CIRCLE. The longer I hold on to my EGO, the more I am walking towards my INNER CIRCLE.

  8. Humility. Santi describes it as not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. In my addiction I only thought of myself. I went today looking for a picture of my wife and I to use as a background on my computer and after 13 years together do you think I could find one good one? No I couldn’t. And so that became a huge blow to me as it showed me exactly what I was like in my addiction with my ego running wild and no concern for anyone including my wife but for me. Everything happens for a reason. Today I went looking for a picture and got smacked right in the face with how bad I was in my addiction. It’s a big reminder as to why I stay in recovery why my life has turned around 180 degrees. I can’t ever go back to that life I can’t and won’t let the addict take control again. I have 13 years with the most incredible woman in the world and so much of it was all a lie. Today in my recovery we are starting new we are beginning again we are being honest and transparent. I am humble I listen I learn I love. Not just my wife but myself. Yes humility is so important and turning over everything else to God. This allows me to grow to be strong to love myself and my wife the way a husband should. Humility. I embrace you.

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